So, I haven’t been feeling like writing anything lately. Well, not anything worth writing on here anyway. But as I’m not particularly in any sort of mood to be messaging at the minute, I thought I’d do a sudden, little update. Phone call after phone call of them knowing just what a state I have been in the last two weeks, the mental health team have FINALLY decided to get a psychiatrist to shift some time to see me tomorrow and assess me.
I had an assessment last year, but now both the psychiatrist from last year and therapist are wanting someone else’s opinion, before giving me a diagnosis. To be honest, I’m tempted to hand him a peg tomorrow and tell him to just stick me anywhere on the crazy line and just show me what I need to do to get feeling better, but of course mental illness is never that simple.
It’s a little unnerving knowing that someone else wants to get inside of head, but my problem has always been not talking about the major issues which is probably why they need a second opinion. So this time I’m writing everything I can down, even though it will get worse in my head over night I need to think of how this will help me in the long run.
Although things are feeling worse, I’ve been trying to outweigh the bad with positive things. Writing in my journal again, doodling, listening to music I even reached out to one of my first friends from childhood this week. And today after seeing someone from my past who easily sets off the flashbacks, I decided to play on the x box to distract myself. Yes…x box. I got the one thing I said I would never EVER buy in a million years. Don’t judge me.
Things have been really hard recently and I wouldn’t have been able to continue to live through it without my nana, best friends and so many incredible people. Thank you to the two incredible people who have gone out of their ways to wish us well and to say how much you’re thinking of us. Sorry for not being able to personally get back to you as of yet. Also to anyone else who has reached out, please know I am so, truly thankful. 🙂