In September 2011, I started at a college. After going through a trauma, the beginning of my struggles with my mental health and been cyber bullying, I was a little anxious, but super excited to start a new chapter of my life.
On my first day, I remember walking into the college and I went with a mentor into one of the main rooms where everyone else was. I remember feeling more anxious as we approached the bigger room. As the mentor was showing some of the students into the room, I decided to wait at the door and search for the friend I also knew would be there.
As soon as I started scanning the room, my stomach dropped when I spotted the person who had cyber bullying me. My whole new start that I had planned out in my head had fallen about there and then. The mentor took me into an office and I burst into tears and I phoned my nana to come and get me. In my head, I didn’t want her to win, so I made the choice to go back to college to next day and start again with support of the mentor.
Throughout that next year at college, I was starting to fall apart. It got to the point where I had a complete breakdown for many different reasons. I’ve tried different colleges, online stuff, but nothing until now has been the right time.
Even though my mental health isn’t in the best shape, I am excited to start another chapter. It’s definitely not going to be easy, but with the right support I am feeling positive about pulling myself through this.
The one thing I regret from that time was that I never kept a diary or journal of things that happened back them. I have the odd or (hundreds) of tweet about silly teen relationships and friendships, but nothing what really, really mattered. So this time around I’m going to try keeping up to date with documenting through both blogging and vlogging. I don’t know what is going to come of this new chapter, it could all turn out to be crap (Very positive….) but if could be the start of a new beginning, new friendships and new learning experiences.